And while I'm ranting... (24 Jan 2004)

I was pleasantly surprised to come across a stall giving away free cups of instant coffee today. Instant coffee manufacturers are always welcome to solicit my custom with free stuff seeing as how I've never purchased instant coffee in my life and don't intend to.

(As far as I'm concerned, coffee exists primarily for its caffeine content and is best expressed as an expresso. Good tasting coffee is rare and never found as a cup of anything that started out looking like powdered turd.)

As I was sipping the free cup of tongue crematingly hot sludge my eyes slipped down to the sign advertising free decaffeinated coffee.

It goes without saying that it went into the bin with my hand following a smooth arc after an aborted initial motion towards my mouth.

How can there be enough flavor flummoxed fools on the planet buying this ungodly example of utterly missing the point, to make a market for decaffeinated coffee?

An open letter to Stephen Fry:

Dear Mr Fry,

The command of language and humor, demonstrated in your book, is almost flawless.

However, I must protest that the book would be immeasurably improved by omitting the entire chapter given to graphically describing a small child fucking a horse.

Thank you